Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Isaac Lee and I am writing to introduce myself as your student in your critical thinking and communication module. My educational background includes being a graduate from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, with a diploma in mechanical engineering.
Growing up, I found myself fascinated by 3D computer-aided graphics shown in some television series by National Geographic. They gave much more details to explore and understand in comparison to simply hearing a narrator explain. On top of that, I enjoyed creative problem solving that had an element of tinkering involved as well. Further along, when I saw new construction projects or technological breakthroughs, the whole prospect of innovation and advancement excited me. Thus, I came to the conclusion that engineering was the right fit for me.
In my area of weaknesses, my biggest struggle is my capacity to speak in front of a random audience, large or unfamiliar. This is usually due to me being greatly stressed over the possibility of messing up, which results in me fidgeting too much or stuttering.
However, despite my weaknesses, I believe that one of my strengths would be being able to break the ice in a smaller setting or in one to one. I can connect with my friends comfortably and voice my suggestions in situations that require it.
My biggest goal in this module will be to improve my public speaking skills and retrain how I view speaking to an unknown audience. Furthermore, my other goal would be to understand the fundamental and subtle things that can play a part in improving my communication with other people in general.
Although I still dislike the idea of being focused on when delivering a speech, I am still dedicated to doing my best. I appreciate what you have taught us thus far, and I look forward to our future lessons.
Best regards,
Isaac
In terms of language, I feel certain words are unnecessary. Some are "however" in para 4 and "furthermore" in para 5. The strengths could be explained before the weaknesses for a better flow in the letter. Overall, very clear in clearing yourself.
ReplyDeleteHey Royson!
DeleteThanks for your input! I had decided to put my strength later on as a form of rebuttal against my weakness. However, I'll still take your suggestion into account. Cheers!
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ReplyDeleteSome things that I enjoyed about your letter is that you have included specific examples to support your points, such as how you used the example of national geographic shows to show that you were interested in computer-aided graphics and explaining how you decided that engineering was for you.
DeleteHowever some things that I think can be done to improve your letter is to improve your vocabulary. I also think that you can elaborate more on your strengths and weaknesses. in particular, i think that you can focus on your strengths more as compared to your weaknesses. Great letter!
Hey Maybeleine!
DeleteThank you for reading through my letter! I appreciate the suggestions given with particular regard to my strengths and weaknesses and will take note when I revise my letter. Cheers!
Hi Issac, I believe you can describe more on your strength like what you are you are good at, maybe add up like work experiences or internship to boost your passion of engineering.
ReplyDeleteOverall really impression as I didn't expect just by watch National Geographic will inspire you that much to further your studies in the field in engineering. 👍🏻
Hey Philbert!
DeleteThanks for your insight, I'll take your recommendation into account! I would say National Geographic was just part of the process haha. Thanks again!
Dear Isaac,
ReplyDeleteThis is a well written, highly informative letter. I appreciate learning about your background and interests, in 3D graphics and so forth, as well as about your comm skills and your goals.
What you could have done to make this letter have more depth is to provide more finely detailed elaboration. You could have given more **precise** descriptions of actual situations, be those about your fear of public speaking or connecting with friends.
One very strong aspect of this letter is the language use.
I look forward to reading more from you more this term.
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone,
DeleteThank you for your time and valuable feedback!
Best regards,
Isaac Lee